Once Felt, Never Forgotten: On the Road to Bhakti … a Pilgrimage to the Virgin of Guadalupe in Mexico City

“This your first pilgrimage?” I stage-whispered to a gal from my group. She giggled and nodded. After four hours of solemn shuffling alongside men carrying large framed images of the Virgin Mary lashed to their backs, my lapsed Catholic inner child was feeling mischievous. Monty Python mischievous.

In my 20 years of practicing yoga, I’d never understood why people undertook pilgrimages…but being someone who will try most anything once, I was willing to learn. Motivation arrived in the form of a 12/21/12 getaway. The annual Guadalupe pilgrimage was the first in a series of events led by Toltec teacher Sergio Magaña Ocelocoyotl (coyote jaguar) in preparation for the Solstice. “Devotional energy is the lightest, most refined energy on the planet,” he said. We were to absorb this blissful note in preparation for becoming spiritual warriors, or Quetzalcoatls, later at the pyramids. “This energy will help you to make the shift in your own vibration from the 5^th to the 6^th Sun.”

I first learned about this Sixth Sun from Sergio, who expertly bridges the modern world with that of his indigenous teachers and ancestors. There is no surprise that he was born with both Castilian and indigenous blood in his veins. He shares practices that align us with ancient, universal rhythms, which can evoke deep, positive change in our lives…if we do the work. He has been teaching in Mexico for over twelve years, and in the US and Europe since 2010. Sergio has learned from great masters in the Mexica lineage including Aztec Anubis, Xolotl (shadow dog) José Luis Chávez Martínez, keeper of the ancient Nahuatl wisdom; and Hugo Nahui, a gifted scholar on stellar events and their impact on our lives.

Winter Solstice of 2012 marked an official goodbye to an old way of being and ushered in the influence of the next “Sun” or era, the Sixth Sun. Each Era spans 6,625 years. While the Fifth Sun was an era of outer conquest and seeking wisdom and happiness in the world around us, the Sixth Sun ushers in an era of inner listening—of working with the wisdom within—and deepens until it is in full control on 12/21/2021.

~

Before we set off for our evening trek, I’d fretted over what to bring. Traveling light was a priority.  Paranoid of pickpockets, I debated leaving my camera in the hotel safe as I stashed only enough money for taxi fare in my bra.

My roommate eyed me worriedly as she neatly laid out a matching TravelSmith outfit on her bed, “Did you know that at the 1954 Kumbh Mela pilgrimage in India, 500 people were killed in a stampede?”

“Um, no…,” I blurted. I hadn’t considered claustrophobia or crowd crushing until just then. Suddenly it was 1985…

I’d arrived at the Providence Civic Center for a Kool and the Gang concert, and stood with other earlybirds by the closed glass doors to the auditorium. The crowd swelled significantly as showtime neared. Suddenly, far from me, a single door opened. The throng surged, lifting me off my feet and pinning me like a bug against a glass wall. Panic and utter helplessness washed over me as the glass gave, but thankfully did not break…And then other doors opened and my primal fear subsided as I stumbled in with the herd to see the show.

~

As we began our hike in Tlaltelolco—site of the Templo Mayor, one of the main Aztec temples—Sergio gave us each a pack of six black and six white stones. Over the course of our walk he instructed us to assign each rock various traumas we’d experienced in childhood or at each milestone in our life. These were our prayer beads to ponder and worry throughout the evening, as we considered the things that held us back in our lives. The stones would be offered at the basilica, our destination, and the Virgin would release from us the heavy energy associated with these traumas—mending the holes in our souls—in a simple but elegant sycretization of faiths.

~

Hanging low and swollen in the sky, a vermillion Jupiter was the first of many celestial wonders that night—the  perfect lantern to light our way, as we hiked for seven miles from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m. on 12/12/12. It limned our passage to the ancient Temple of Tonantzin Coatlicue, Mother Earth and Goddess of Life and Death. The temple was destroyed by the Spanish and rebuilt into the original chapel for the Virgin of Guadalupe.

~

“Don’t turn down anything people give you!” Sergio instructed.  “You’ll hurt their feelings, and these gifts are offered from the kindness of their hearts.” My first present was a card handed to me by a calm smiling man. This being my first boon, I felt excited as a kid who’d fished out the crackerjack prize. The card bore an image of the Virgin of Guadalupe on one side, and a prayer to her on the other.

Soon, however, my growling stomach reminded me that I hadn’t had dinner. With a pang, I noticed a young couple from our group to my left holding SANDWICHES. They seemed to be debating whether they dared eat them or not. I craned my neck left to right like a starving baby bird, but soon became distracted by a 40-something local man dragging a wooden box by a rope with a rapt look on his face. The regular appearance of men toting four foot crosses on their shoulders—complete with grim Jesus—also took my mind off my tummy. It was lucky that I forgot about the treats so near and yet so far, because food was not to find its way to me that night. I would arrive at our destination in proper fasted form…

At one point my food radar caused me to be in a perplexing place. Without thinking, I’d accepted a very full cup of black coffee that…I realized a second later, I didn’t want. As I hurried to rejoin my group, the obsidian liquid sloshed dangerously close to the edge. The coffee giver had so enthusiastically proffered his gift, and with Sergio’s directive drumming through my head…how could I refuse? I debated being rude to the tradition… What would HAPPEN if someone threw away their boon?  I considered my options. Cups, wrappers, and all manifestations of trash were piled high on the sidewalk to my right and left. Dumping the liquid in the street simply wasn’t an option—I would’ve wetted many pilgrim toes...including mine. My San Francisco recycler mentality agonized over the spec of litter I’d be adding to the tonnage that lay strewn everywhere. I finally found a space on the sidewalk to set down the brimming cup, and bounded guiltily onward.

~

Over time, the parade my group had merged with bottlenecked from a 20-shoulder-across street to a 5-across pedestrian walkway in the middle of an avenue. Diminutive police officers stood on bollards lining the thin causeway every 10 feet, providing a constant presence. The gateway to the Vegas-lit basilica complex allowed just three-shoulders-across entry. Once inside, we were reduced to a singular serpentine shuffle.

~

Inside the compound, the press of devout seekers covered every square inch of pavement. I stepped carefully over the feet of family after family camped out on the steps of the church, clearly exhausted after their long trek from their home village (some had walked for months). Not a single baby cried among seven million pilgrims. My mind staggered with the enormity of that many hushed children…and where were the bathrooms?

A trust and gentleness pervaded as families slept atop blankets they’d placed on sidewalks, stairs and street corners….any place out of the immediate flow of foot traffic.

I soon realized my earlier paranoia of pickpockets, stampedes, and crowd crushing was totally unfounded, as all the men I passed, bumped into, or witnessed were peaceful, reverent, and deferential. I was never pushed or regarded suggestively the entire evening.

~

We climbed up to the Temple of Tonantzin Coatlique, past Virgin dioramas one could pose by for pictures. At the top we were greeted by domed rooftops and breathtaking views of the snaking streets below feeding the devout into the basilica. Joining the rapt, upturned faces of the devout, I entered the chapel. A sweet, light energy filled the high-ceilinged edifice, which was tiled in blue and white and bursting with flowers. The circa 16^th century statuary backed by suns, moons and stars—and especially the Virgin statue, sitting atop a crescent moon and containing complex indigenous spiritual symbolism that Sergio had explained to us—pleased my inner Pagan greatly.

I exited into the strobe-illuminated night to see fireworks create a number “7” in the sky…Aztec symbol of healing. With that auspicious omen, I tossed my stones over a low stone wall, beyond which was a grassy hillside—sending my prayers, and my traumas to the Mother’s healing. I descended the stairs.  At the base of the old Temple, I felt suddenly washed with a lightness and release. It reminded me of hucha mikuy, the Peruvian shamanic method of transforming heavy energy into light, refined energy. Or, if you like, the transubstantiation done with a chalice at either a pagan ritual or a Christian mass.

As we milled slowly around the main basilica yard in the out-stream, I followed many pilgrim arms pointing to the heavens and gasped.  Hovering low and large over the modern basilica, soundlessly flashing a green oval of lights, then a white one was something extremely nonordinary.  Occasionally the spectre darted with impossible speed to the right or left. It seemed to be studying this epicenter of human empathy for its uniqueness and beauty in stark contrast to all the other nastiness on the planet; hovering for the longest time over the basilica. I blinked and it was gone. “There are many OOF-ohs here tonight, eh?” Sergio laughed, pointing out additional UFOs for our wide-eyed entertainment as we waited our egalitarian turn to exit the compound.

My gaze traveled to the gold-framed, original tilma in the modern basilica—the cape of Juan Diego—to whom the Virgin had appeared, and with which he had carried the impossible Castillian roses at the Virgin’s request to the local church, to validate his vision. The image of Mary had remained on the cape when he shook the roses out. In 1951 photographers discovered a reflection in the Virgin’s eyes, which on magnification, revealed all 14 witnesses present when the tilma was first revealed to the padre in 1531, including a small family. Interestingly,  Hernán Cortés , the conquistador who overthrew the Aztec Empire in 1521, was from Extremadura, Spain, home to Our Lady of Guadalupe, Extremadura, one of three black madonnas in Spain. Was her well-timed Mexican appearance a political move or a miracle? The tilma has not been studied scientifically since 1982.

~

Our return trek created a feeling of expansiveness as personal space once again emerged. The inbound crowd became threadier and younger, more exuberant; many of them high-fiving or waving to the tall men in our group who were risking loss of blood to limbs by maintaining upraised arms to signal our group’s edges, and not lose any weary trekkers.

~

Back at the hotel room, my head hit the pillow as heavy as an obsidian tecpatl blade. After sleeping in quite late, I cracked open the window and gazed out into a smudgy, sunny sky, unrolled my yoga mat and flicked on some kirtan music. Suddenly, just a few notes into the first song, exquisite ecstasy flooded my body like a megadose of endorphins… And I got it… Why people take pilgrimages. Why they immerse themselves in bhakti…in that devotional bliss. That same vibration can be triggered so easily afterwards! I marveled at how sweet it felt. My heart expanded as if an inner sun were shining within me. Just like those pictures of Jesus I’d seen but not understood as a child. Or like the Sufi symbol of the winged heart. Could I perhaps be ready to embrace the 6^th Sun now? To become a spiritual warrior…a Quetzalcoatl? The flowering serpent—symbol of heaven and earth combined. I began my Ujayyi breathing and let the feeling deepen as I stretched into my first pose…and felt like I’d got what I came to Mexico for.

Bhakti…Once felt, it is never forgotton.

The Cosmic Dynamo – a New Toltec Teaching Revealed for the Sixth Sun

As a cross-cultural shamanic practitioner, I’ve explored many wisdom streams over the years of my practice to arrive at my current toolkit. In all my studies, however, I’ve never heard of a Cosmic Dynamo, something I directly experienced on the Solstice of 2012. This ancient teaching, revealed to the outside world for the first time, works with vastly powerful Earth forces to disseminate blessings to individuals, families, countries, and even the planet.

A Cosmic Dynamo is the activation of the center of movement of a sacred place, such as a mountain or a stone circle, through physical human activity, ceremony, intention, and offerings. As with the power of prayer, the Cosmic Dynamo allows each tiny human being to have a positive influence on others, by radiating outward, first personal, then social intentions to the community. This force is exponentially increased when people join their energy together with the Earth forces to manifest whatever is on the agenda for that day. 

I have been studying for three years with a brilliant and eloquent Aztec/Toltec teacher, Sergio Magaña Ocelocoyotl (coyote jaguar). There is no surprise that he was born with both Castilian and indigenous blood in his veins because Sergio expertly bridges the modern world with that of his indigenous teachers. He shares tools that align us with ancient, universal rhythms, which can evoke deep, positive change in our lives…if we do the work. He has been teaching in Mexico for over twelve years, and in the US and Europe since 2010. Sergio has learned from great masters in the Mexica lineage including Aztec Anubis, Xolotl José Luis Chávez Martínez, keeper of the ancient Nahuatl wisdom; Xolotl’s wife Alma, teacher of the feminine mysteries—healing with obsidian tools and the popochcomitl, or copal burner; and Hugo Nahui, a gifted scholar on stellar events and their impact on our lives.

I was one of the lucky few who were able to attend an authentic ceremony in Mexico on the auspicious date of 12/21/12. Few also knew that at the Solstice there was a time of no time where the Universe stood still and opportunity was possible. Picture this…

I am near the Zocalo (main square) in Mexico City in ceremony officiated by Xolotl and Alma. It is the eight seconds of no-time at 5:13 a.m. The circle is suddenly hushed. One hundred people, from all points of the globe, power out to the universe our big intentions for ourselves, our families, countries and planet, as the Sixth Sun dawns. A warm, tingly energy pours out from my heart. I feel hugely expansive and peaceful. Like anything is possible…that perhaps we could change the world. When the eight seconds are over, we resume our frenzied dancing as hummingbirds, eagles, and macaws; miming the expert moves of native celebrants.

When they’re not leading ceremony, Xolotl and Alma (as well as Sergio) share their Mexica cosmovision and wisdom with eager students. One of the most memorable concepts that they both taught was that of this Cosmic Dynamo.

In one of Alma’s teaching sessions, she described the healing nature of ceremonial dancing, as we did on the Solstice. Participants place an intention along with a photo, or other personal item on the altar at the center of the dance. The movement creates a vortex of energy, and the focus of the dancers’ intentions sends the healing to its destination, be it personal or planetary. Ceremonial dancing creates the ollin, the movement that feeds the Earth chakra (in the case of the Solstice, the Zocalo, an energetic epicenter of Mexico City) which, in turn, powers the Cosmic Dynamo.

Through the intricate and beautiful altar that centered our Solstice ceremony, I felt the group raise a powerful vortex. As it grew more expansive and rose to the heavens, I felt myself doing the same.  Much later, when I returned to my hotel bed, I fell into dreams of jaguars and serpents racing through my blood and native dancers executing perfect hummingbird steps. Upon waking, I realized I was once again a believer…in the magic and mystery of the universe, something I often lose touch with, wrapped up in the little day-to-day issues of my life. I also felt I had an indigenous piece of the “wild” now planted within me that I could access in the future, when needed. A cure for my often over-civilized modern life. As a visual artist, I also felt gifted with an abundance of raw, new, archetypal material.

The Cosmic Dynamo and Cultural Comparisons

I’ve spun Tibetan prayer wheels; never quite believing that a simple mechanical action could actually send supplications into the ether.

I’ve walked labyrinths, where physical movement took me on both an inner and outer journey to a still center. But it was always a solo process. Never for the community. Imagine going into a labyrinth with intentions and having them radiate to the world upon the out-spiraling!

In Wiccan rituals, I’ve joined and led groups in setting a healing intention; raising a cone of power and sending the energy off to a person, community, or the planet. Anchoring and amplifying the power through a vibrational epicenter of the Earth takes this to a very different level. When you create a Cosmic Dynamo you’re activating an Earth chakra. You’re invoking it to work with you.  In the case of the Solstice, we activated a sacred, ceremonial site. When that Earth chakra is a mountain, what’s activated is the mountain’s heart: its cave. We also activate our own inner cave (chicomostoc) or shadow, in this system, transforming the unknown, the enemy into our Higher Self—the hero who is ready to help the collective. We have within us a portal to a place of great power.

How to Move a Mountain

The bus emerged from the diesel-fumed crush of the city. Closer and closer we sped toward a snow-capped mountain. After our lesson on activating Earth chakras, I was eager to put theory into practice. But the mountain we were approaching was puffing out white clouds like a steam engine!  I recognized it as one of the two sacred volcanoes of Mexico City – Popocatepetl. This Earth chakra already seemed quite active without any human assistance! Would we be working here? My palms started to sweat…

The heart of a mountain (and any organism) is the center of its movement.  According to Xolotl, “In our (Nahuatl) cosmovision, everything has a (vibrational) center. Therefore when we activate sacred things, when we activate the sacred mountains, what we offer is directed to all.” 

A thin bowl of a moon hung slightly over the horizon, echoing the shape of the volcanic crater where we would perform ceremony. An arduous climb up a steep, slippery, shale-covered slope turned the group not inward, but outward toward helping each other as physical limitations were keenly felt. At the summit, we were truly humble warriors, bonded closely with the volcano Cuicuilco. The equally hair-raising and steep descent into the cave in the caldera brought new sensations: cold, pervasive dampness, but also the feeling of being in the sacred womb of the Earth mother, where we could almost hear her breathing.

Just like at the Zocalo, the altar was strewn with offerings including flowers and sacred sweets called tzoalli, made from chocolate, amaranth, tequila, honey, and other delicious ingredients. The tzoalli were arranged in a wheel, representing movement (ollin) and became the center of the Cosmic Dynamo.  The ceremony in the cave was quick, because of the extreme discomfort of the location, but, as many later realized, most effective.

~

Upon my return home, I assimilated all the work we did and realized that my personal growing pains simply mirrored those of Mother Earth. The angst of this awareness wrenched my heart and made me feel a powerful, yet tender responsibility for both her and myself. We are birthing our new selves for this new era, as we agonize together with the contractions, like Inanna comforting Ereshkigel in the underworld—stepping into our darkness, forsaking our outer self-centered trappings of beauty or security or being the superstar lone wolf…because it is called for. Not knowing whether we’ll be dismembered by the process, or whether—like Osiris—we’ll be missing a part of ourselves when the journey is over; but knowing that surely we will be transformed.  All the while we are being forged and tempered into swords of better discernment, in the cave, in our chicomostoc, our cauldron of transformation. Grappling with our shadow. Stepping into our portal to great power.

It’s time to seize our inner swords. To become better stewards of both our shadow…and the planet. We are being called… This is what’s next.

Sergio says, “We persist…in wanting to remain exactly the same, regardless of the perpetual movement and unaware of all the changes that occur on a constant basis…”, and that as humans, we have an inherent tendency to fall into weakness: “the part that in this eternal renewal process prevents us from gaining access to a new idea of ourselves and to its manifestation.”

~

“The human experience is constant change,” says Xolotl. To remain aware, “we need to create our own change regularly to counteract our separation from our pure essence.”

Ometeotl. (And so it is!)

Did the Mayans get it wrong? What’s next? … Just me and my Shadow?

We survived the Solstice. The end of the world. I wasn’t particularly surprised...Were you? Long before that fateful day, I learned about a different calendar that allows us to live longer…Because it looks like we’re still here.

I refer to the Aztec calendar, the image that we most associate with the Mayan calendar. But unlike the Mayan’s, and just like a Timex, the Aztec calendar keeps on ticking… beyond 12/21/12. Not only that, but the Aztec calendar—and the indigenous wisdom behind it—holds clues to how our future will unfold. And how to ready ourselves for this new era…called the Sixth Sun.

~

As a cross-cultural shamanic practitioner, specializing in soul retrieval, I’ve explored many wisdom streams to arrive at my current toolkit. The Toltec/Aztec path has some very special practices to help us deal with the full range of human foibles, when we’re faced with upcoming challenges unique to this Sixth Sun.

~

I first learned about this Sixth Sun from Aztec/Toltec teacher Sergio Magaña Ocelocoyotl (coyote jaguar). A brilliant and eloquent young man, Sergio expertly bridges the modern world with that of his indigenous teachers and ancestors. There is no surprise that he was born with both Castilian and indigenous blood in his veins. He shares practices that align us with ancient, universal rhythms, which can evoke deep, positive change in our lives…if we do the work. He has been teaching in Mexico for over twelve years, and in the US and Europe since 2010. Sergio has learned from great masters in the Mexica lineage including Aztec Anubis, Xolotl José Luis Chávez Martínez, keeper of the ancient Nahuatl wisdom; Xolotl’s wife Alma, teacher of the feminine mysteries—healing with obsidian tools and the popochcomitl, or copal burner; and Hugo Nahui, a gifted scholar on stellar events and their impact on our lives.

I was one of the lucky few who was able to attend an authentic ceremony in Mexico on the auspicious date of 12/21/12. Not many also knew that at the Solstice there was a time of no time where the Universe stood still and opportunity was possible. Picture this…

I am near the Zocalo (main square) in Mexico City in ceremony officiated by Xolotl and his priestess wife, Alma. It is the eight seconds of no-time at 5:13 a.m. The circle is suddenly hushed. One hundred people, from all points of the globe, power out to the universe our big intentions for ourselves, our families, countries and planet, as the Sixth Sun dawns. A warm, tingly energy pours out from my heart. I feel hugely expansive and peaceful, like time did stop and anything was possible—perhaps we were changing the world in that very moment. When the eight seconds were over, we resume our frenzied dancing as hummingbirds, eagles, and macaws; miming the expert moves of native celebrants, and calling in all they represent.

~

But that was but a moment in time that marked an official goodbye to an old way of being and ushered in the influence of the next “Sun”, the Sixth Sun. Each Era spans 6,625 years. While the Fifth Sun was an era of outer conquest and seeking wisdom and happiness in the world around us, the Sixth Sun ushers in an era of inner listening—of working with the wisdom within—and deepens until it is in full control on 12/21/2021. In other words, a time of reckoning with our shadow: those cast-off parts of ourselves that we have buried away from our conscious awareness. Those things we hide from ourselves. Often it is because of trauma that we push both our gifts and negative experiences away from the light. Qualities like insecurity, or jealousy—or even a talent for singing that never gets expressed for fear of public humiliation—these things cause us pain. The shadow can be positive as well as negative, and can help as well as hinder us. Unfortunately, we usually end up acting out aspects of our shadow when they are repressed, such as criticizing the successful artist or attacking the homosexual, be it through a casual remark or worse. When others exhibit our shadow qualities, we often have strong negative feelings toward these people, but never consider why this might be.  It is because they are expressing disowned aspects of ourselves.

The Aztec/Toltec tradition that Sergio presents helps people to realize that, yes, we ALL have a shadow, whether we deny it or not. This is nothing to be ashamed of…it is a human condition. Uniquely, this tradition provides tools, such as the Obsidian Mirror, for actually making a connection—seeing, feeling, creating awareness, and ownership—for the 15 aspects of the shadow—positive and negative—that the tradition describes for us to work with. And then, if one chooses, and with commitment and discipline, they can transform the harmful aspects of their shadow to helpful ones. Turning one’s own worst enemy into their inner hero. Becoming more effective in one’s life. The life-affirming effects are similar to those gained through soul retrieval or other more traditional psychotherapy methods that also work with dissociation.

Why is it important to acknowledge and transform our shadow NOW? Because we live in accelerated times. Even more so, after 12/21/12. Our thoughts and actions manifest much more quickly now. This is one of the aspects of the Sixth Sun Era, an era of “endarkenment”. We can create heaven or hell on this Earth much easier now. The cosmos is assisting us. It is our choice which of the two we’d like to create in our life. The “easy” path is to give in to inner darkness—react without thinking, say something off the top of our head because it’s a popular sentiment, but not something that’s been thought through as to whether it really rings true in our heart. The challenge is to rise above our “pain body” (as Eckhart Tolle calls it) of ourselves, our family, our culture, or our country and shed light on our inner darkness. And in so doing, bring more light and hope to the human condition at this point in time. When it is so desperately needed.

~

I was terrified to look at my shadow…as anyone would be…but knew it was my responsibility. I’d worked with it before, but like peeling an onion, found there were more layers. I got lucky. I was given an opportunity to work on mine in Mexico at an auspicious moment in time. A significant relationship in my life had just unraveled and ended. Additionally, I’d been experiencing the disorientation of hot flashes, weight gain, hormonal fluctuations, and most significantly, an urgency to address my inner victim—to no longer put up with people and situations in my life anymore that were not in integrity. That were not congruent with the path of dignity I needed to walk. I couldn’t tell if what I’d been experiencing were growing pains, ascension symptoms, or something else. I wanted to set some awareness and healing in motion by refocusing my attention in ritual and connection with the Earth. To make sense—in a shamanic setting—of the changes in my life. What better place to do this than the energetic center of Mexico at this time in history?

~

I sit cross-legged in a temazcal, or sweat lodge, also led by Xolotl and Alma. Unlike the Solstice ritual, this is a very intimate, personal affair. Our lodge is a green reed dome, partially covered by tarps. Clad in sarongs, shorts, and skivvies, our group of 20 crawls to their places inside, as an eagle circles overhead under a clear blue dome—an auspicious omen.

As the couple’s preteen girl and boy play on the grassy lawn outside, I feel like we become the couple’s 20 children as their gentle ministrations are translated from Spanish to English...but soon realize, that here, in the temazcal, we are children of Earth parents who possess deep, healing love but also claws and fangs.

Since I’d participated in over half a dozen sweatlodges already, fear of the unknown had long vanished with my initial one. Here, I eagerly anticipated the hermetic hug of the warm, dark womb. I was joyful for the opportunity to step between the worlds, and outside of the everyday world…something I hadn’t done in a while.

~

Introductions are made, and the womb-like space feels initially safe and cozy. The first round of red hot stones is pitchforked in; each rock cradled by very long, sharp tines that slide inches from my bare leg. I release my breath when the final stone is placed, blessed, and the door closed. Because I’d requested a personal healing for bronchitis, Xolotl now ushers me to sit by the central fire pit, facing away from it. It’s a chill, windy day outside, and I’m happy to abandon my drafty seat by the door. He sprinkles water on the stones.

Luxuriating in the enveloping steam bath, I’m now feeling held by my surrogate parents. Sighing deeply, I relax into the comforting silence. Then…surprise! My back is whipped with a leafy tree branch! I feel…oddly Catholic and almost laugh. The leaves don’t hurt, but an occasional spark singes my skin for a microsecond. Had he touched the branch to the stones first?! Was my hair going to burn?! I just had it done!

As gifted shamans, my “parents” know what they are doing. The temazcal balances health, mind and emotions. Sometimes certain plants are used to enhance the work and help the client with their inner struggle to change; in particular Pirul (Pepper Plant), Rosemary, and Santa Maria (Spearmint). The practitioner asks the stones of the temazcal for balance and healing—touching them briefly with the herb—and then taps the affected area on the client with the plant. Xolotl and Alma believe sickness is caused by unbalanced energy; resulting in chemical, physical, social, biological, and mind alterations. Their methods to rebalance a person include temazcal, infusions, massage, cleansings, dancing, and breathing exercises. Most importantly, as in other shamanic healing methods, faith assists the success of the client’s inner work.

With each touch of the pepper branch, I feel a fluttering inside my chest of dark wings, echoing those of the eagle overhead. Shards of old grief, long buried, begin to surface. I gasp, cough, and weep.

A couple hours later I emerge from the lodge, absolutely radiant—my lungs and skin gloriously clear and hydrated. Purified for the Solstice ceremony and respectful of Xolotl and Alma’s Earth parent power.

~

It was only much later, as I assimilated all the work we did, that I realized my personal growing pains simply mirrored those of Mother Earth. The angst of this awareness wrenched my heart and made me feel a powerful, yet tender responsibility for both her and myself. Wise new actions were and continue to be called for. In some cases these actions involve culling—with intention—the things that no longer contribute to the well-being of either my life or that of the planet; such as a long-term acquaintance who refuses to walk a path of integrity or cannot quit identifying with their inner victim. In other cases, the new actions might be as simple of keeping a supply of reusable shopping bags in the car, or driving more mindful of pedestrians, and with less haste. We are birthing our new selves for this new era, as we agonize together with the contractions, like Inanna comforting Ereshkigel in the underworld—stepping into our darkness, forsaking our outer self-centered trappings of beauty or security or being the superstar lone wolf…because it is called for. Not knowing whether we’ll be dismembered by the process, or whether—like Osiris—we’ll be missing a part of ourselves when the journey is over; but knowing that surely we will be transformed.  All the while we are being forged and tempered into swords of better discernment, in the cave, in our chicomostoc, our cauldron of transformation. Grappling with our shadow. Stepping into our portal to great power.

It’s time to seize our inner swords. To become better stewards of both our shadow…and the planet. We are being called… This is what’s next.

Sergio says, “We are entering the cycle of the Obsidian Eagle, a place where our dreams and our enlightenment are attained through the path of darkness, through the transformation of our own cave (shadow).”

Ometeotl. (And so it is!)